Sam folded his slender, six-foot tall body into a chair at
the kitchen table. As was his habit, he slowly rubbed his suntanned
face and ran his hands through his long blonde disheveled hair. He
sighed deeply, now ready for his morning coffee. The steaming
warmth of the cup, proclaiming World’s Best Father, could warm his
hands, but couldn’t touch his chilled and broken heart, reflected in
his sad blue eyes. Sam thought bleakly, Lord, how long must I go
on existing like this? I just can’t seem to find the strength to
carry on without her! Since his wife passed away last Christmas
Eve, after losing the battle against lung cancer, his life had just
gone straight to hell! He was only thirty-two years old; this was
not supposed to happen, not to the only woman he’d ever loved and
planned to spend the rest of his life with.
His daughter, Kathy,
emerged from her bedroom asking, “Daddy, are you talking to yourself
again?”
“Yes, sweetheart, you
caught me,” he answered, forcing a small smile.
“I’ll fix us a good
breakfast, Daddy. Bacon, eggs and toast; just like momma taught me!”
Although just ten, Kathy was finding her way around the kitchen.
“That sounds great,
sweetheart, you’re turning out to be quite a cook! Your mother would
be very proud of you.”
“Daddy, can we open the
wishing box? It’s Christmas Eve, and I think Momma would want us to,
like we always did…”
Her pretty brown eyes told
the story of the sadness she held deep inside. The death of his
wife, Mary, had taken them both to an abyss full of sorrow, from
which neither one seemed able to return. Bringing his attention back
to Kathy’s question, he took her hand and patted it gently, while
answering, “We’ll see, sweetheart. Now how about that breakfast? I’m
getting pretty hungry just thinking about that fine meal you’re
gonna cook!”
Watching his daughter preparing breakfast was truly a sight to
behold; she had all the breakfast food scattered across the kitchen
counter! Kathy had taken on the role of woman of the house, and was
determined to take good care of her daddy. Sam was thinking, if
only Mary could see this; she would be so proud of our little girl.
He smiled as Kathy put the bread in the toaster, pushed her long
brown hair away from her fair-skinned face, and hands on her slender
hips, impatiently waited for it to pop up. Sam couldn’t contain
himself; he started to chuckle. Kathy turned around saying, “Daddy,
what’s so funny?”
He quickly replied, “Like
mother, like daughter!” Kathy began to laugh along with him, but her
laughter abruptly turned to tears. She ran into her daddy’s arms,
holding on for dear life. At that moment, Sam, holding his precious
daughter tightly, decided that mourning for his wife in this way,
had to end. Pressing her against his heart, Sam said in a hoarse
whisper, “We’ll open the wishing box this morning, right after
breakfast.”
Her little arms hugging him tightly, Kathy looked up with her
tear-stained face. “Thank you, daddy.”
Kathy finished her breakfast in record time, hardly able to wait for
the meaningful event to take place. While she cleared the dishes
away, Sam went into his bedroom and removed the box from the closet
shelf. As Sam held the box, he noticed that his hands were shaking
badly. The urge to put it back was strong, but not strong enough to
stop him from finally confronting the painful memories that lay
inside. Kathy yelled from the kitchen, “Daddy, I’m almost finished,
are you coming?”
“Yes, sweetheart, I’ll be
there in just a moment.” Sam smiled, remembering how the wishing box
became a Christmas Eve tradition in their family.
One beautiful Christmas
day, when all the presents had been gleefully opened, Kathy, only
five at the time, suddenly said, “Santa didn’t bring me what I
really wanted for Christmas!”
“And what might that be?”
her mother asked.
With a look of sadness in
her brown eyes, guaranteed to melt anyone’s heart, Kathy replied, “A
Barbie doll, I really wanted a Barbie doll.”
Mary, quick on her feet, hugged her daughter as she said,
“Sweetheart, Santa just gets so busy, sometimes it’s hard for him to
remember everything; so what do you say we help him out?”
“Help him out how, Momma?”
“We’ll make us a “wishing
box”! We’ll write on a slip of paper, the one thing we want
most for Christmas and put it into the box; that way he’ll never
again forget.”
Sam sighed, as he carefully placed the box on the kitchen table. He
and Kathy just stared at it, in complete silence. The pain and
sorrow had been too great to open the box last Christmas. But now,
somehow the need to know what the woman they both loved truly
desired that Christmas, overpowered their grief; they both touched
the lid at the same time, gently removing it. Reaching into the box,
Sam pulled out two slips of paper and an envelope that read, What I
truly want for Christmas. Sam’s hands began to sweat, as he felt
the agony of this moment take hold of him. Stalling for time, he
opted to read the slips of paper, first. As he was about to begin,
Kathy, suddenly sounding very mature said, “No! Daddy, I don’t care
about what we wanted last year, the only thing that’s important to
me is what Momma had to say."
Startled by her outburst,
but in full agreement with her, Sam opened the envelope. Removing
the letter, he began to read aloud, his voice quavering.
My dearest
darlings,
I know in my heart that I must leave you before Christmas; God has
sent for me to come home. But I want you to know, the home I leave
behind, was filled with joy and love. Even now, at this hour, I am
warmed by the precious memories of the beautiful times we shared as
a family. If having a family that loves and cherishes you is a
blessing, then I have been truly blessed by God.
I know you will weep and grieve at my passing, but when that time is
done, look to each other for support. Keep the love and joy that we
shared alive! I’ll be watching you both. Live life to its fullest!
And yes, my darling Kathy, I’ll be watching when you finish school,
complete college and eventually marry the man of your dreams. I’ll
be watching over you, always.
My Christmas wish is that you both find all the happiness that life
has to offer. I wish for you to seek out beauty in life, and become
part of it. Opening the wonderful gifts that God has given us is the
greatest of all pleasures! I wish for you to hold me in your hearts
with loving memories, not with tears and sorrow. I want bragging
rights! So when I sit in Heaven with the angels, looking down at
Earth, I can point you out and say with pride, “That’s my precious
family!” Each day you spend on Earth, is a gift from God, so use it
wisely. Until we meet again, my darlings, rejoicing in our reunion,
I’ll forever be your Special Guardian Angel.
Kathy said, a new sparkle in her eyes, “Daddy, Momma is still with
us!”
Sam felt his sadness
lessen, replaced with a swell of joy. He took his daughter’s little
hands in his own. “Yes, Kathy, Mommy is our Special Guardian Angel.
The first real smile Sam had felt in a long time reached his eyes as
he whispered softly, brushing his daughter’s hair from her face,
“Sweetheart, we’ll always feel safe and warm knowing she is with us
always.” The wishing box tradition would now go on and on.